This is going to sound impossible, but I assure you that it’s very possible. For people like me, who care deeply and like to give others the benefit of the doubt – we are the most vulnerable to be taken advantage of by “soul-suckers. However, I strongly believe that we need to be fooled by a “soul-sucker” at least once or twice, just so that we can know how to avoid them. It’s possible to know someone your whole life, or even for just several years and not really know them.
Have you ever had a friend or family member that just always had some sort of drama revolving around them? But the thing is, in their stories – they are always the hero and the victim. Somehow their drama leeches into your life.
There are people who are pathological liars. They lie about things that seemingly make no sense to lie about. However, there is always a reason for their lies. They are always scheming and they always have an agenda. They lie about the simplest things and that’s what makes their lies so believable. Obviously, if you trust someone, you wouldn’t doubt that they are looking out for your best interest. So, when these people come to you and tell you that someone said something mean about you or they heard something about you… why wouldn’t you believe it?
These people lie so much that they believe their own lies.
These people, wallow in your failures and shortcomings. They know that you trust them and confide in them and they pretend to care. They gain your trust and then they talk about you behind your back and even fabricate stories about you. People have no reason not to believe these stories about you because they trust the person telling them and the lies seem like something that wouldn’t make sense to lie about in the first place.
I’ve met a couple people like this, but I grew up with someone like this. I had inklings that something was strange about this person, but I guess I always overlooked the red flags and chalked it up to something else. I trusted this person with my life and maybe I just didn’t WANT to believe it. As I grew older, I grew wiser. Things that this person would tell me just did not add up. I began finding other people who would tell me things that this person told them and the stories that I was told did not match.
I find it to be one of the most difficult things because a part of me yearns for that friendship and what I thought it was. However, I know that there can never be a real friendship between us any more. This person is not capable of telling the truth or being a friend. They get jealous when you’re doing well and they try to befriend your friends and turn them against you. They always have to try and look like they’re a better person than you and while they pretend to have your back, they really have a knife in it.
I still can’t believe how long I was fooled. I’ve known this person for the majority of my life. However, I know that there is nothing I can do to change this. Sometimes we have to admit to ourselves that no matter how much we love someone and care about them, they make their own decisions. They choose to be the person they are.
I feel so free now that I’ve been ridding my life of these “soul-suckers”. It hurt a little at first, but it’s necessary when you have big goals and dreams. You don’t want those people to bring you down.
I think that being a young widow has made me a little naive about different things, but I feel like I’ve learned so much and I’m grateful that I learned some great life lessons before anything really bad was ever able to happen to me.
I think that in today’s society, it’s getting harder and harder to find genuine people. It’s hard to find that balance between trusting someone and not allowing them to take advantage of you. This is why I’m so close to my immediate family and I’m so grateful to have such a big and close-knit family. Don’t get me wrong, family can let you down also, but I’m lucky that mine hasn’t.